bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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