Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
