Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
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Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
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Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize