rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
