we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
