i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
