I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
