You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
