I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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