You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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