btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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