Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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