yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize