I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize