I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
