Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
