i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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