I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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