Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
