take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
