i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
