I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
