I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
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