he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
