I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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