Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Come on in and take your pants off
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