"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Im part way to drunk.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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