I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
