Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My cat gives me a boner
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
