so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
