My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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