the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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