Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
