Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize