Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
