porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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