Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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