I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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