Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
only if we run a train.
done.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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