as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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