I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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