I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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