Walk of Shame. In a state park.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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