Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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