clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
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He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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