My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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