he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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