I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
