I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
