ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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