Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
