If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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