just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
