my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
