Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
