If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
