worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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