I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We don't watch enough power rangers
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize