i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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