I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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