Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
