did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
